Saturday, July 25, 2009

SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO DIE,,,,,,,,,,,,,

i'll start this with an apolagy, As i've abandoned things here for quit a while. jenny's passing on the 17th of June set me back more than I had it figured. And i'm just now beginning to feel real again. Jen had been sick so long that I had it figured that my grieving was being done during the caregiving and that as soon as it was over, i'd just pick up and move on. Things just didn't happen as I had planned. So I've been moping around out on my deck for weeks trying to get things back to normal. but the fact is, Normal will never be again. for those things that made up the normal are gone and I need to seek a new normal, one that allows me to function and once again become productive.

One of the reasons I hesatated in my return was the fact that after all my bragging here on the powerin living a healthy lifestyle my own wife lost her battle to disease. And i needed to once again think through those things which I believe.

jenny's battle was hard fought, and lasted a full 13 years. Mine was the easy part in just trying to provide comfort. But the journey provided pricless information that without her struggle would be lost to me

. The tragedy , as I see it is she didn't have to die. Life is precious, death and dying very personal. and ultimately we honor those afflicted, as well as their choices. So it was with Jenny, as it is for the many others who choose Conventional Medical Treatment.

Someone asked a few days ago if I was against Chemo, and my answer was no. If you found a growth or Tumor, and Chemo, or Radiation was needed to zap it or slow its grown thats a good choice , as long as its not followed by series after series of infusions until the immune system is fully destroyed. Jenny's Tumor Markers were down in the teens Yet she opted to stay on the chemo against my suggestions. I believe in my heart that was a bad decision and the continued regimen of weekly Chemo finally was to much for an already taxed immune system.

Am I certain , obviously not. It's just my best judgement based on 13 years of struggle.

Jenny rests now, a well deserved rest. I never met such a fighter. And today she sleeps at the feet of Jesus awaiting the day He decides this mess is over. Judging from what I see out there, and comparing it to scripture and Gods past accounts It wont be long before we will see him Coming in the clouds.
The pictures above show the care taken in just transporting, and administering Chemo n radiation. I dont thin nI need to waste type on what it does inside the body. I''ll leave
that up to you.. A.L.R.