Monday, December 15, 2008

""Passin gas"" izz,,,, well its such a relief

Seems like I barely opened my eyes this morning before the days agenda began to press me. My morning prayer closet doubles as the bathroom stool. Just always figured if I was takin in new stuff I had to make room. So it was the appropriate way to Begin . I'm good at multi-tasking. And a few words to the man up yonder can only help. couple times I know I got off point, but God knows he took on a big job here. so I just apologized to him and moved on. I buzzed over a lotta old business, lotta stuff He's heard before, but made sure I covered the forgiveness part then cut it short.
I'm old n I'm a guy so gettin ready ain't no big deal. flipped on the coffee, dropped my teeth in a glass of mouth wash n grabbed some fresh clothes . dogs were waitin so I let em out on my way to the shower, slipped in one side n out the other. forgot a towel but there's always some in the hamper. so i dried off, running a hand thru my pits to make sure . yeah, good enuff for Doctor day.
Therapist first then,,,, no not that kind. I got a sore hand dummy!! Then off to the real Doc to get some stitches out. Dogs were scratchin so I grabbed the glass of mouthwash n headed to the door. Holdin my teeth in one hand I downed the mouthwash and slide the patio open . I swished a couple time then blew it out the door tryin to miss the dogs . Jake made it , but Scruffy may smell a bit sweet for a while. Fresh sweats n a clean t-shirt on , Then pulled the socks from yesterday out of my shoes,, ah hell they're OK,,,,Gettin behind here, I gotta move.
Halfway to town I remembered the coffee,, dang!! and I don't do well without it. So I grabbed an exit by the Gas n go. Only took a couple minutes and I'm back motorin, a fresh cup and one a them Morning sandwiches, gut Bomb type. Only took a short while and a bellyache appeared by the time I got to the Doc, I'm squirmin. But it ain't bad till they put me in that little room,,,,,,,,,, Now its getting serious. But I got it handled I will be free in a few minutes and then,,,well, you know.
but the Docs behind and I'm startin to worry. I kin feel the pressure buildin. This is a small room,,, really small. But its really getting serious here n no body's coming,,,I'm wondering if I kin kinda sneak er out in little fluffers to relieve some pressure, and I almost let it go. But I hear someone at the door so I sorta squeezed it back in place. Now don't sit there so innocent!!~! you all know exactly where im at here. Out with the guys why I'd just let er go, even give her a little push. But I'm in a pickle here. Somethings gotta happen ,, and very soon.
just then Nurse Cindy came through the door with 30 minutes of very careful instructions. and I squirmed carefully all the way through them.
Finally, she released me,,,,to the appointment desk, Another cubicle,, only smaller. and this gal had to be slower than last weeks molasses. I was soo frustrated with her, that by the time I was let go I felt like really lettin go, right there in that lil 4x4. but I didn't, truth is I was afraid the sound of all that pressure would scare somebody.
now, im not saying where the end came but it was wonderful, even a little pain full but very soothing.
for those of you who think God doesn't have a sense of humor I beg to differ. I believe he loved every minute of my suffering. He's the friend Who'll never fail you, but be care full.
for my friends who may take offense, Ill just say be care full , coz yu have the same "abilities"
learn to laugh a little, Its good medicine. Gods very best Al


AngelBaby said...

Very funny,I'm surprised you had so much control at a time like that! LOL! You have a very nice site, I really enjoyed reading it.

Love and Blessings,

Erin said...

LOL! Ask any of my friends and they'll tell you that I LOVE a good poop story... That goes for gas stories as well. :D My nickname is "Deuce" as in "Number 2", how gross is that, purely because of my glee at a good story about the taboo body functions. :D

looney2n said...

This is not written to the author of this post, but FOR him. I'm his sister and I'm here to tell you that 'Yes, this guy is for real!" For those who don't know him, I'll also tell you this..."yes, he really does think about this stuff and writing about it is no surprise either." Whether in the midst of a Dr. appt or sitting in church..

Now for those who think this is too much info, how about taking a peek at the newspapers these days. Would you rather read about the drugs, sex, murder, thieves or government corruption? Or throw a bit of realistic humor into your day and 'smoke out' the bad news? For me personally, I'd rather HEAR about this stuff and get a laugh than to read about the other...

But let's clarify something...just because he's my brother, don't think this kind o thinking runs in the family, K? I mean,..girls don't 'break wind'...we are perfect ladies..(right?)