REEEEEL MAPLE SYRUP

Age Sucks, I don't like it a bit!. I can be happily motoring down into town and the very next minute I gotta pull over and try to remember where the heck I'm going. I feel pretty safe tellin that little diddy here because I'll probably not be meetin any of you. I used to feel pretty cocky rattlin off my Drivers license number, or helping the wife with her Social Security Number but today, remembering where I live is right around the corner. And I'm more apt to work harder at beating the system now that my dear old unkle (SAM) has limited my allowance. stretch as I might there's always Month left at the end of the Money. So bein a crafty old fella I'm always lookin fer ways to trim the fat.
After a tasty Breakfast of pancakes n pure Maple syrup I finished it all up with a fresh cuppa coffee, Organic of coarse, in my special place out on the deck. Spring was springing and the snow was all gone but a few little piles hiding from the sun. As I searched for my first Robin something caught my eye. And as I turned to the north I could see something dripping from the huge maple in the front yard. I walked up close to find sap running in several different areas, dripping onto the leaves on the ground. The return to the deck was a slow trot as the wheels in my noggin began to creak n moan. You see although I'm sold out to buying Organic that $9.98 for a pint of pure Maple syrup has always bugged me fiercely. Those guys were makin a killing on something that God provided free , and I was about to get in on it. Coffee in hand I made it for the computer and Googled "how ta tap a tree" I next went to the shed and fabricated 4 spigots then went with my newly acquired knowledge , and carefully drilled 4 holes. On the pegs I hung 4 ice cream pails and I proudly watched the drip, drip, drip of my syrup. On the way back to the house I chuckled quietly, tickled with myself and my new found wisdom. Like a little kid I could hardly sleep and was up early . From the deck I could see that my buckets were overflowing and I wallowed in the praise I'd get from everyone for all that syrup. But when I reached the tree I saw WATER??,,,, yes water!! Chapter two said I needed to cook it down but Water? I stuck my finger in and tasted and,,, yup, its water.. Thinkin this was the wrong kind of maple tree i went back to the book n read some more, but nothing was mentioned of a tree giving water. Not wanting to call failure I dragged my "water" inside and set it to boil. and for hours i boiled n boiled until all that was left was less than i half inch of,,,,,,,,,,, water. But as i tasted the water it had sweetened . So I got more sap, and more sap and boiled n boiled. All total I boiled down over 40 gallons of water. In the end I had close to 3/4 gallon of pure maple syrup, very tasty but a huge amount of work. I have no Idea what the electric costs for at least 4 days of continuous use but I bet it wasn't cheap.
It was a fun adventure , enlightening and an educational. But I buy my maple syrup now, my wife wont let me use the stove anymore. Well I admit it, it was a little sticky when i was done. And you know, now that I've thought it through,,,, That Reeel maple syrup!! It's perdy cheap!!~!